the life

hmmm....

2007-07-24T03:14:17Z

i have no idea how much money i have in my bank account.
i can't decide whether that's a good thing or a bad thing.

one more time

2007-06-07T07:05:33Z

my sister and i just had a daft punk dance party and now i'm really depressed that the daft punk/rapture show at berkeley is sold out. *sigh* so is the story of my life...

everytime i try to fly, i fall...

2007-05-30T18:34:47Z

Dear Fans,

I just wanted to reach out to all of you and explain some of the things that I have been faced with recently.
It's so funny how many stories are put out there about people. It's like we all want our side of the story out there as well, but at the end of the day only a few people care to hear what is really going on since the bad is always so much more interesting than the truth. I don't know why, but this is so weird to me. I used to be angry at the tabloids for printing horrible things about me, but now I try to just be numb to what I see. I saw Tyra Banks once get really upset and cry on her show because they made her look fat. We all want a certain image of ourselves out there, and at some point we all do really care what other people think or we wouldn't be here.

Recently, I was sent to a very humbling place called rehab. I truly hit rock bottom. Till this day I don't think that it was alcohol or depression. I was like a bad kid running around with ADD. I had a manager from a long time ago come in and try to direct me and my life after I got my divorce. I was so overwhelmed I think that I was in a little shock too. I didn't know who to go to. I realized how much energy and love I had put into my past relationship when it was gone because I genuinely did not know what to do with myself, and it made me so sad. I confess, I was so lost.

This letter is to not place blame on anyone, although I do see the world with a completely different set of eyes now. Being in that vulnerable state and taken to dinners and parties with friends and finding out later you paid for everything was a huge learning lesson for me. I think the whole problem was letting too many people into my life. You never know another persons intentions or what another person wants. I feel I was too open and looking for answers when I had it all to begin with. I have had to cut so many people out of my life. It is so sad, because if anyone is a family person...it is me. When I was little I remember every night watching movies with my family and feeling so at peace. Dancing and singing all the time just like a little girl should. Now recently I find with my children that I want them to have that feeling all of the time. I am having to face a lot of things right now since I have children of my own. A lot of insecurities from when I was little are coming up again. It is like we are never good enough.

I know everyone thinks that I am playing the victim, but I am not and I hate what is going on right now so much. Maybe this is the reason for this letter...to maybe allow people to look at me differently. It is like when you are a real woman and say what you feel and how you think things are supposed to be, that people just say you are a "bitch."

I feel like some of the people in my life made more of some issues than was necessary. I also feel like they knew I was beginning to use my brain for a change and cut some ties, so they wanted to be in more control of my life than me. I think it is actually normal for a young girl to go out after a huge divorce. I think it was a bigger issue because I had not gone out in such a long time. I am 25 and I do still have a lot to learn, and I am going to make mistakes everyday, and I am sure every mistake I make will probably be on CNN or Good Morning America. I am only human people and I love you for still loving me.

I am sitting here at home and it is 6:25 and both of my sons are asleep. I am truly blessed to have them in my life. Everyday is so surreal. Life in general is so surreal and crazy.

I just hope this letter made some of you think a little bit more of me and where I am coming from. I just want the same things in life that you want...and that is to be happy. It is just so weird because everyone has their own perception of me and how they think I really am. It is so weird how stories are told. There is your side, my side, and the truth. Somebody has to figure it out. I guess we will never really understand or figure out life completely. That's God's job. I can't wait to meet him...or her.

Love, Britney

Quote of the month...
It is ok to disagree with people regarding certain issues. You’re not being true to yourself if you succumb to others opinions because you feel guilty.

the bitch of living

2007-05-17T09:26:55Z

God, I dreamed there was an angel
Who could hear me through the wall
As I cried out-like, in Latin
"This is so not life at all
Help me out-out-of this nightmare"
Then I heard her silver call-
She said: "Just give it time, kid
I come to one and all"

She said: "Give me that hand, please
And the itch you can't control
Let me teach you how to handle
All the sadness in your soul
Oh, we'll work that silver magic
Then we'll aim it at the wall"
She said: "Love may make you blind kid-
But I wouldn't mind at all"

It's the bitch of living
(Bitch, just the bitch)
With nothing but your hand
(Just the bitch, yeah)
Just the bitch of living
As someone you can't stand

See, each night, it's like fantastic-
Tossing, turning, without rest
'Cause my days at the piano
With my teacher and her breasts;
And the music's like the one thing
I can even get at all
And those breasts!
I mean, God, please
Just let those apples fall

It's the bitch of living
With nothing going on
Just the bitch of living
Asking: what went wrong?

Do they think we want this?
Oh- who knows?

See, there's showering in gym class...

Bobby Maler, he's the best
Looks so nasty in those khakis

God, my whole life's like some test

Then there's Marianna Wheelan
As if she'd return my call

It's like just kiss some ass, man
Then you can screw 'em all

Alllllllll

It's the bitch of living

It's the bitch of living

And living in your head

In your head
It's the bitch

Of living
And sensing God is dead

It's the bitch of living

You watch me-
Just watch me-

And trying to get ahead

I'm calling you one day

It's the bitch of living
Just getting out of bed

All will know

It's the bitch of living
Living, Living

All will know

And getting what you get
It's the bitch of living

And knowing this is it

God, is this it?
This can't be it
Oh God, what a bitch!

absence makes the heart grow fonder

2007-05-14T05:33:15Z

well i guess it's a little redundant to say that cliches are cliches for a reason. but, like most things, i think their messages are taken for granted. "absence makes the heart grow fonder." this was something i never really thought about until today. i mean really really thought about. my sister and i have always tolerated each other, but we haven't always been the best of friends, or the best of siblings for the matter.

college changed things. i went away and apparently my family attributed some sort of memory of me that made them like me a whole lot more. whenever i came back home for little bits of time my mother would dote on me. i pretty much got whatever i wanted whenever i wanted, and then my mom would ask me if i wanted more. it became a little annoying and unnerving actually.

but the most significant change came from my little sister. the same little sister who would sometimes for no reason act completely crass toward me. we needed to find a mothers' day gift. my sister generally doesn't want to go anywhere with me, but she jumped right in the car and was ready to go. i had one of the best times in that car that i've had with my sister for a long time. today was a beautiful day. the sun was shining brightly and it wasn't too hot. my sister remarked on this fact and said that she thought that she should sprawl herself across the lawn. i said, "then let's do it" and a minute later the both of us were out their laying out in the backyard. right there in the sunshine, in the middle of our backyard i was happy. happy to be there with her. happy that, as it would seem for now, we have sort of come full circle (another cliche...sorry). these are the memories that make us who we are and i love them for that. and i love my sister. and i love that she is my sister. and i love that i make friends who become my virtual brothers and sisters. i love that i can go away and they'll still be there and come back and they'll still be there. whole-heartedly. waiting. wishing the best for me. what i mostly love, however, is that my friends and my family all attach some memory of me that makes them want to continue their contact with me. if only everyone could be so lucky.

starz in their eyes

2007-05-13T06:24:54Z

They'll be making sure you stay amused
They'll fill you up with drugs and booze
Maybe you'll make the evening news

And when you're tripping over your dreams
They'll keep you down by any means
By the end of the night you'll be stifling your screams

Since you became a VI-Person
It's like your problems have all worsened
Your paranoia casts aspersions
On the truths you know

And they'll just put you in a spotlight
And hoping you'll do alright
Or maybe not

Now why'd you wanna go and put starz in their eyes
Why'd you wanna go and put starz in their eyes
So why'd you wanna go and put starz in their eyes
Now why'd you wanna go and put starz in their eyes
Starz in their eyes

Remember they said you'd show them all
Emphasize the rise but not the fall
And now you're playing a shopping mall

Your mum and dad they can't believe
What you appear to have achieved
While the rest of these users are just laughing in their sleeves

Since you became a VI-Person
It's like your problems have all worsened
Your paranoia casts aspersions
On the truths you know

And now the tabloids use your face
To document your fall from grace
And then they'll tell you that that's just the way it goes
That's just the way it goes

Now why'd you wanna go and put starz in their eyes
It's the same old story well they just didn't realize
And it's a long way to come from the dog and duck karaoke machine
And saturday night's drunken dreams

Now why'd you wanna go and put starz in their eyes
It's the same old story, well they just didn't realize
And it's a long way to come from your private bedroom dance routines
And saturday night's drunken dreams

Now why'd you wanna go and put starz in their eyes
Why'd you wanna go and put starz in their eyes
So why'd you wanna go and put starz in their eyes
Now why'd you wanna go and put starz in their eyes
Starz in their eyes

Now why do you wanna go and put starz in their eyes?
It's the same old story well they just didn't realize
And it's a long way to come from the dog and duck karaoke machine
And saturday night's drunken dreams

(When I grow up I'm going to be famous)

Behind the steel barrier and sequence and glitter
Five inch heels still knee deep in the litter
Each of them a bitter bullshitter,
Wrapped up in the cloak of fake glamour, getting lost in the camera
Well footprints are fools gold, diamonds crusts on their one off plimsolls
So little time for these one off arseholes
Rigor mortis Ken and Barbie dolls
A pair of big shades and a push up bra
It's such a short gap between the gutter and stars
That you've come a long way from the place that you started
So why'd you wanna go and get so down hearted

Welcome to the kingdom of the blagger
Uncutting you nose clean, coating you bladder
A whole lot happier a whole lot sadder
Used to be satisfied but now you feel like Mick Jagger

Now why'd you wanna go and put starz in their eyes
It's the same old story, well they just didn't realize
And it's a long way to come from the dog and duck karaoke machine
And saturday night's drunken dreams

Now why'd you wanna go and put starz in their eyes
It's the same old story, well they just didn't realize
And it's a long way to come from your private bedroom dance routines
And saturday night's drunken dreams

this is how i wish my life worked out...

2007-05-06T01:34:05Z

...so i try to change it accordingly.

Seeing Bloc Party Live...

2007-03-21T09:32:42Z

...made me love them oh so much more.

Overprotected

2007-02-23T20:33:51Z

I Have Done The Unthinkable...

2007-02-21T06:24:26Z

...i've decided to give up shopping (for clothes) for Lent.

am i becoming an adult?

2007-02-05T09:15:32Z

in spite of all of my attempts not to?

ENFJ

2007-01-29T07:51:07Z

ENFJ

Popular and sensitive, with outstanding people skills. Externally focused, with real concern for how others think and feel. Usually dislike being alone. They see everything from the human angle, and dislike impersonal analysis. Very effective at managing people issues, and leading group discussions. Interested in serving others, and probably place the needs of others over their own needs.

outgoing, social, attention seeking, emotional, loving, organized, comfortable around others, involved, open, hyperactive, complimentary, punctual, considerate, altruistic, easily hurt, religious, neat, content, positive, affectionate, image conscious, good at getting people to have fun, easily excited, perfectionist, assertive, ambitious, leader, hard working, seductive, touchy, group oriented, anti-tattoos

favored careers:
casting directory, film critic, wedding planner, work in the performing arts, teacher (art, preschool, elementary), actor, fashion designer, news anchor, fashion merchandisier, school psychologist, broadcaster, stylist, interior designer, event coordinator, restaruant owner, childcare worker, hair stylist, film director, counselor, dancer

disfavored careers:
race car driver, scientist, computer specialist, airline pilot, computer programmer, financial manager, epidemiologist, truck driver, electrical engineer, software designer, web designer, business consultant, dj, bookseller

i took this personality test a while back but have always thought that it gets me right on.

i hate being alone...most of the time.

ever since i was little i have always been very sensitive, many times concerning my friends' feelings. a lot of times i have a hard time putting my own needs before the needs of my friends. instead i present a confident, happy, front so i can be the one my friends run to. i find security in this.

i hate impersonal analysis. know me before you decide not to like me.

i never thought i was an outgoing, social, person. my friends disagree.

i live for attention. it's a sickness really.

i am very easily hurt, i just don't always show it.

i've always been a perfectionist.

i try not to be so image conscious...but i am.

i will never get a tattoo.

overall i love being with people. especially people i know. being in a group gives me energy. a good energy. a positive energy.

as far as careers go, anything in the arts or media would be ideal. nothing where i am imprisoned in a cubicle, or bogged down by a 9-5 schedule. (one of my biggest fears is routine)

The Top 20 Singles of 2006

2007-01-05T05:42:31Z

so i like to make mixes when i'm bored or have nothing else to do. recently, i created a mix of what i think the best singles of this past year were. the track list is as follows (the songs are in no particular order):

1. Hush Boy - Basement Jaxxx
basment jaxx is one of the most interesting bands ever. you've probably heard their songs in commercials or the movies. anyway, this particular song is one of those ones you can't help but dance to. it has a sort of old jazz club style with a modern twist. this song is utterly effervescent.

2. I Have a Dream - Common
i always shudder at the idea of the use of the "i have a dream" speech in songs, but common gets it right in this track. i'm also a llittle tired of will.i.am productions, but this one just works. it's from the freedom writers soundtrack, so it has a message as well. check it out for the interpolation of dr. king's speech.

3. Lovelight - Robbie Williams
this is actually a cover of a 2003 song, but this version is much better. think electrofunk meets r&b slow jam either way it's a delight to listen to.

4. I Gotcha - Lupe Fiasco
i'm also getting a little sick of pharrell's productions, however this one is amazing and that's all that needs to be said.

5. Get Together - Madonna
"do you believe we can change the future?" madonna asks in this space age thumper. one of her many confessions from the dance floor, this track clearly outshines all of the rest.

6. Laugh/Love/Fuck - The Coup
"i'm here to laugh, love, fuck, and drink liquor/and help the damn revolution from quicker." that's probably one of the best lines...ever. i strongly urge everyone to check out the coup. they're an earful, but an earful in the best way.

7. Consolation Prizes - Phoenix
this song just reminds me of the sun; how appropriate.

8. Starlight - Muse
from the sun to the stars. i've always been a sucker for the piano, as well as dance rock. this song combines all three in the nice package of a love song.

9. Unwritten - Natasha Bedingfield
probably one of the most uplifting songs i have ever heard. yeah, yeah, it's really saccharine but natasha writes songs like she's writing in a diary, producing a really raw effect. it's a tad overplayed, but i'm a sucker for gospel choirs.

10. When the Sun Goes Down - Arctic Monkeys
my favorite song by arctic monkeys. it has quite a good music video to accompany it as well. how can anyone not want to get up and dance to this one?

11. Painted by Numbers - The Sounds
new wave at it's best. danceable while at the same time quite listenable. and an amazing piano bridge.

12. Tell Me When to Go - E-40
"jesus christ had dreads, so shake 'em" who thinks up stuff like that? in any case a definite must have in one's hyphy collection. i'd let e-40 direct traffic for me anytime.

13. Get Up - Ciara
i'd say this was one of the best dance songs of 2006. it's a mix between hip-hop and electropop. i could really do without the "ladies and gentlemen...ciara" that ciara insists on putting at the beginning of almost every one of her songs. nonetheless, the club really is jumpin when this track comes on.

14. Kick, Push - Lupe Fiasco
i never was much of a skater, but this song makes me want to be. i didn't know what a hard life it is until lupe told me. the background instruments are used really well on this track.

15. Naive - The Kooks
the riff at the beginning of this song is only part of what makes this song so good. i can just picture walking through the dark streets of london when i listen to this one; this may be because this is what happens in the music video, but whatever. this song is really good, especially at the end.

16. My Love - Justin TImberlake
i hate justin timberlake, but he sure does make it hard to dislike him when he spits out tracks like this. i think producers nowadays are going a little bit overboard with their fascination around the space-y sounding electronic numbers, but this one sure kills this niche. and it has t.i. in it. what else could you ask for?

17. Headlock - Imogen Heap
i will also have a personal affinity for this song as it was the theme song for one of my movies. however, with that set aside this is still a great song. i think imogen deserves more recognition than she is currently getting. she is a one-woman show. however, this song is dark and ominous and it builds up as it goes along. it takes you on a journey.

18. I Am Not My Hair - India.Arie
another uplifting one. this one, however, is about having a positive body image. "i am not my hair, i am not this skin, i am not your expectations, no...i am the soul that lives within." that's pretty powerful stuff right there.

19. Mama's Room - Under the Influence of Giants
i don't know why under the influence of giants haven't reached the fame they deserve. this song captures the essence of disco while at the same time not straying too far away from the normalcy that america loves. i especially like the line, "i like the pain that comes out at night/ everybody dance everybody feel right." also another one with a good video.

20. Hard to Beat - Hard-Fi
ok. i cheated on this one. this one actually came out in 2005 but didn't come out as a single in the U.S. until 2006. whatever. it's my favorite song to listen to and is even better live. if i had to pick one song to download on this list, it would be this one. reminds me of a night on the town, all the while dancing in the street.

a lot of songs nearly missed the cut. nonetheless, i am quite satisfied with the list i created. i highly recommend that everyone download all of the songs on this list. hopefully there will be great music this year too.

Sorry...

2006-12-24T08:23:54Z

Don't say forgive me

Don't say you're sorry

I can't take it anymore

Can't take it

Can't take it

Can't take it
Can't take it anymore

I've listened to your lies and all your stories

And I

And I can't take it anymore

Can't take it

Can't take it

Can't take it
Can't take it anymore

DON'T say forgive me

(I've heard it all before)

DON'T say you're sorry

(I've seen it all before)

And I

(And I)

I've heard it all before...

Don't talk
Don't speak
Don't talk
Don't speak
Don't talk
Don't speak
Don't talk
Don't speak

Don't talk
Don't speak
Don't talk
Don't speak
Don't talk

DON'T SPEAK

YAY

2006-12-24T07:46:07Z

I LOVE CHRISTMAS!!!!!!!

Music Is My Hot, Hot Sex

2006-12-19T12:27:25Z


From all the drugs the one i like more is music
From all the junks the one i need more is music
From all the boys the one i take home is music
From all the ladies the one i kiss is music (muah!)

Music is my boyfriend
Music is my girlfriend
Music is my dead end
Music is my imaginary friend
Music is my brother
Music is my great-grand-daughter
Music is my sister
Music is my favorite mistress

From all the shit the one i gotta buy is music
From all the jobs the one i choose is music
From all the drinks i get drunk off music
From all the bitches the one i wannabe is music

Music is my beach house
Music is my hometown
Music is my kingsize bed
Music is where i meet my friends
Music is my hot hot sex
Music is my back rub
My music is where i'd like you to touch

Claro-que-sim, fui escoteira mirim
Direto da escola, não não ia cheirar cola
Nem basquete, pebolim
O que eu gosto não é de graça
O que gosto não é farsa
Tem guitarra, bateria, computador saindo som
Alguns dizem que mais alto que um furacão (rhéum)

Perto dele eu podia sentir 
Saía de seu olho e chegava em mim
Sentada do seu lado eu queriaencostar
Faria o tigela até o sol raiar
Debaixo do lençol ele gemia em ré bemol
Fiquei tensa mas tava tudo bem
Tudo bem

Ele é fodão, mas eu sei que eu sou também
Ele é fodão, mas eu sei que eu sou também
Ele é fodão, mas eu sei que eu sou também
Ele é fodão, mas eu sei que eu sou também
Ele é fodão, mas eu sei que eu sou também

Back Home

2006-12-19T12:00:18Z

As I have been back home in Sacramento for a few days, I've had trouble describing to myself where my "home" is. To me, home has always been where one's family and friends are. Now, I have a family and a bunch of friends in Sacramento but I have also created a family of friends in L.A. Certainly one can have two homes, but I think the conflict that resides within me is the question of which place is more of my home. I've always looked at Sacramento as the place I wanted to escape from. Growing up I always felt a sort of anxiety that I never associated with this place until I left. Don't get me wrong; I love Sacramento and all of my friends and family here, but I can honestly say that I'm more comfortable down south. It's not like I go to school in a location that I can return home to every weekend if I wanted to. Living far away from home is a completely different experience. Whatever. The three weeks here will do me well. Too much of a good thing can be dangerous and I'm awfully excited to return to the friends and family I left behind.

Stars of CCTV

2006-12-04T00:24:35Z

Stars of CCTV

Every move that I make
Gets recorded to tape
So somebody up there
Can keep me safe

I'm going out tonight
I'll get my hair just right
I'm always looking good
For my spot light

Stick em up
Give me the money
A winning smile up to the gallery
Gonna get my face on the six o'clock news

We're the stars of CCTV
Making movies out on the street
We're the stars of CCTV
Can't you see the camera loves me

On every corner every street
Down every underpass you'll see
Somebody stealing the show
Somebody looking like me

I'll see you're out tonight
We'll strike a pose just right
We're always looking good
For the spot light

We turn it on
And so effortlessly
We fill the screen
Can't help but notice me
Gonna get my face on the six o'clock news

We're the stars of CCTV
Making movies out on the street
Flashing blue lights, camera action
Once in my life main attraction
We're the stars of CCTV
Can't you see the camera loves me

We're the stars of CCTV
Making movies out on the street
Flashing blue lights, camera action
Once in my life main attraction
We're the stars of CCTV
Can't you see the camera loves me

Coming Home

2006-11-21T22:28:18Z

so i'm coming home tomorrow for the first time in three months.
it's only for four days, but i'm looking forward to it.
i miss the sense of normalcy that can only be found at home,
and i love opportunities that engage the whole family.
i'm also looking forward to seeing some friends.
but i know i will be looking forward to getting back to the unconventionality that is my life in LA!

Baby When The Lights Go Out

2006-11-12T22:26:03Z

so i have to going to bed at like 7:30am (when it's light)
and waking up at like 4:30pm (when it starts getting dark).
i'm not like a racoon or owl or anything.

lost_boy87 @ 2006-11-02T15:42:00

2006-11-02T23:42:43Z

Let the DJ shake you
Let the DJ shake you
Let the DJ shake you
Let the DJ shake you
Let the DJ shake you
Let the DJ shake you
Let the DJ shake you
Let the DJ shake you
Let the DJ shake you
Let the DJ shake you
Let the DJ shake you
Let the DJ shake you
Let the DJ shake you
Let the DJ shake you
Let the DJ shake you
Let the DJ shake you

I know you've been waiting, yeah
I've been watching you, yeah
I know you wanna get up, yeah
Come on

Everybody, come on, dance and sing
Everybody, get up and do your thing
Everybody, come on, dance and sing
Everybody, get up and do your thing

Let the music take control
Find a groove and let yourself go
When the room begins to sway
You know what I'm trying to say

Come on, take a chance
Get up and start the dance
Let the D.J. shake you
Let the music take you...

Everybody, come on, dance and sing
Everybody, get up and do your thing
Everybody, come on, dance and sing
Everybody, get up and do your thing

Let your body take a ride
Feel the beat and step inside
Music makes the world go 'round
You can turn your troubles upside down

Gonna have to change your mind
Gonna leave your troubles behind
Your body gets the notion
When your feet can make the motion

Everybody, come on, dance and sing
Everybody, get up and do your thing
Everybody, come on, dance and sing
Everybody, get up and do your thing

Dance and sing, get up and do your thing
Dance and sing, get up and do your thing
Dance and sing, get up and do your thing
Dance and sing, get up and do your thing

Come on, take a chance
Get up and start the dance
Let the D.J. shake you
Let the music take you...

Let the DJ shake you
Let the DJ shake you
Let the DJ shake you
Let the DJ shake you
Let the DJ shake you
Let the DJ shake you
Let the DJ shake you
Let the DJ shake you
Let the DJ shake you
Let the DJ shake you
Let the DJ shake you
Let the DJ shake you

Everybody, come on, dance and sing
Everybody, get up and do your thing
Everybody, come on, dance and sing
Everybody, get up and do your thing

Everybody, (let the DJ shake you)
Everybody, (let the DJ shake you)
Everybody, (let the DJ shake you)
Everybody, (let the DJ shake you)
Everybody, get up and do your thing

Dance and sing, get up and do your thing
Dance and sing, get up and do your thing
Dance and sing, get up and do your thing
Dance and sing, get up and do your thing

Let the DJ shake you
Let the DJ shake you
Let the DJ shake you
Let the DJ shake you
Let the DJ shake you
Let the DJ shake you
Let the DJ shake you
Let the DJ shake you
Let the DJ shake you

My Birthday Weekend!

2006-10-26T00:13:03Z

So I'm writing this to prolong a film paper I have to write...

...When am I not procrastinating though?

So I thought that my birthday was going to be well, pretty lame because it happens to fall on our mid-semester break every year and pretty much everyone goes home. I didn' t really think about going home because four days seems kind of pointless and let's face it, I love it here. So that was never really in the plans. Also, I knew that Steven, my roommate, was staying so I knew that we would be able to find something to do. I knew that my birthday would not be another 'Black & White Affair' but that didn't mean I couldn't try to make it as spectacular as possible.

So on Friday my friends Brittany, Natalia, and I decided to see a movie. We couldn't decide which one, but were leaning toward Marie Antoinette. We got to the Bridge, which has an amazing movie theatre, and found at that the next showing wasn't until like three hours later. So, what did we decide to do? Shop and eat of course! We went to this really good Pizzeria and spent a lot of time in Nordstrom Rack. The movie was surprisingly good and well worth the wait. Afterwards, we returned to campus and decided to watch the Britney Spears Dream Within A Dream Tour in Brittany's room. Natalia and Steven weren't as into it as Brittany and I were. We pretty much could have put the concert on ourselves.

Saturday was pretty chill. Steven left for USC, which left me some alone time to do my homework. I sort of got a lot done that day, but then I got distracted by cleaning my room and having dance-offs with the fish I was babysitting. Afterwards, Steven came back and we went to a little birthday party my friend Maile was throwing for my friend Amanda and I:

Ok. So there's this tradition at LMU that at midnight on your birthday, you get thrown into Foley Fountain which is this big pool outside of the theatre. My friends tried to be inconspicuous about it, but yo boy knew what was up. It took them a while to catch me. But they finally did.

I struggled and they ripped my jeans...it was a good time had by all. They didn't even sing 'Happy Birthday' to me though. They were tired.

Of course I couldn't go to sleep after that so I went around my hall and informed everybody that it was my birthday. Then I had a couple of dance parties and went to bed.

Sunday, my actual birth-day, I woke up to rustling sounds outside of my door. I had seen Steven leave earlier, so I looked out of my peephole and it was my friends Brittany and Natalia again surprising me with birthday cake! It was really good because it was funfetti.

After all of the hooplah, I opened the presents that my family sent to me. I pretty much just got money. But then I opened the gifts my mom sent me. The first was a picture frame with pictures from different stages of my life and a letter that my mom wrote to me.

Yeah, I know. I almost cried. The next package was much smaller. I thought it was a roll of film for the camera that my mom is getting me, but when I opened up, I was very pleasantly surprised.

A newly remastered 8 Gig iPod nano? I think so. It was nice because I didn't expect to get this. It was a very good surprise.

Afterwards, Steven and I got ready for our trip to Newport/Laguna. We got there really fast and spent time shopping (I had to get some new jeans because my other one's were ripped from being thrown into the fountain), laying out on the beach, and getting recruited to work at Hollister. It was the perfect way to turn 19.

Laguna Beach much?

So yeah, afterwards we came back and had a birthday dinner at P.F. Changs in Santa Monica. They have a really good birthday dessert by they way, so I highly recommend going there for your birthday.

After we got back Maile and Steven surprised me with a little box with my two favorite words on it: "Abercrombie & Fitch"

So basically, all my friends chipped in and bought me this amazing sweatshirt that Steven picked out. I put it on immediately. And pretty much have worn it every day since. Steven has really good taste.

Afterwards, we partied for a little while and then I went to bed because I had to shoot a music video at 1 the next day.

So the shoot was incredible, to put it mildly. It's also a story in itself. The only thing was that I stupidly didn't bring my camera so I couldn't take any pictures and the ones from my phone are shitty, but hopefully I'll be in Gym Class's new video for Cupid's Chokehold. But that was pretty much my birthday. Except for this Saturday when a bunch of us are going to the club to celebrate my 19th! I can't wait! From my birthday, I have seen that wherever you go, it's the people who really make a difference in your life. And I'm really thankful I have many people who love and care about me. I was overwhelmed with the amount of comments I got on both facebook and myspace. It really made me feel like I mattered.

hmmm....

2006-10-22T02:13:31Z

so i might be an extra in the next Gym Class Heroes music video...
if i can make the shoot on Monday...

I'll Be 19 Tomorrow

2006-10-21T21:10:12Z

It's been almost a year since the Black & White Affair.
Weird.

Sometimes I Wonder

2006-10-11T01:00:59Z

What is wrong with people?
Seriously.